Turkey Leg, Come Back to Us

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Ass Buster 1 year ago.

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  • #3920
    Total Frat Forum
    Total Frat Forum

    Turkey Leg,
    We all have enjoyed reading the Vintage Hazing posts that you write. I hope you come back and start writing some more. We will start contributing more to this topic as well. animal house paddling

  • #3921
    Total Frat Forum
    Total Frat Forum

    I came across this website http://pledgingsucks.com/why-we-haze

    Here is a good explanation of WHY WE HAZE

    Why We Haze
    Posted on 02 February 2011
    Society consists of an overwhelming amount of anti-hazing douche-bags. Wherever the pre-conceived notions came from, it’s pretty fucking obvious that the haters of hazing can be sourced back to GDI college life. Only those who have experienced all that pledgeship and brotherhood entails can truly comprehend the value and importance of hazing. We’re not talking about the pussy fraternities who choose to form unity through trust falls and guided reading programs. We’re talking about classic, Animal House fraternities. In our modern day-in-age, society throws roadblocks at our age-old system of unity. They just don’t understand why we haze…
    So… why the fuck do we haze? It’s complicated, and can’t be answered with a cookie-cutter response. It’s a combination of a ton of reasons, explanations and theories. It’s like asking why Justin Bieber deserves to be punched in the face…there’s so many reasons. And can you really limit your answer to one sentence? Absolutely not. Here’s the breakdown as to why the brotherhood hazes during pledgeship.
    This might be the greatest reason for pledgeship. How many events, actions and ideas do we endure due to mere tradition? Countless… we just don’t realize it. Everything we do was once set by those before us. For the sake of tradition, hazing must continue. It has always been an art of the Greek community, and should never be relinquished. Letting go of tradition is a slippery slope that fraternities fight on a day-to-day basis. The louder someone bitches, the harder it is for tradition to be upheld.
    Reality Check
    When the day comes that a brother must enter the real world (fuck no…), life isn’t what it used to be. Entering your first job, you’re going to be the shit on the bottom of somebody’s shoe. Hazing parallels this time period. Pledgeship serves as a proper reality check for those who believe life will be a mere cake-walk. One must not forget their place; hazing serves as the ideal tool. Welcome to the real world, pledge.
    Personality Transformation
    Hazing is the greatest problem-solver there is. Too many young college students waltz into their university years with cockiness and an overwhelming attitude. It takes a few weeks of tough love to straighten them out. Hazing can turn a young man’s personality and disposition into a respectable nature. Agreed?
    Growing up, your family serves the bond in your young life. That’s about to change. Pledgeship forces unity, and there’s no greater form of unity than perseverance through hardship. Without hazing, you and your pledge class wouldn’t bond, mold, or garner the relationships that are worthy of a fraternity. It’s all about unity.
    Brotherhood Commonality
    One of the over-riding reasons why fraternities are so close-knit involves the relationships that the brothers maintain with eachother. As gay as that sounds, it’s true. Pledgeship provides a commonality between all brothers. They’ve all gone through the same shit, so each and every brother should be respected and treated equally. No brother is better than another, and each can relate to their own experiences enduring the same forms of hazing. Pledgeship is the most common topic of discussion, and it provides some of the greatest memories of your lifetime.
    Pointless Laughs
    Alright, I’ll be honest, there’s probably a solid percentage of pledgeship that’s solely put forth for comedic purposes. Making a pledge chug a gallon of milk makes your quality beer gut jiggle in laughter, and lightens up the dinner-time mood. Hazing doesn’t have to be painful, or even miserable. Pointless laughs can be achieved through merely making a pledge sing a song. But hey, just about anything these days is considered hazing…
    This is important. Believe it or not, there are a few aspects of pledgeship that are vital to the well-being of brothers. As the designated drivers (also called pledge rides), pledges save the lives of those brothers who would without a doubt hop in the car and drive drunk if it weren’t for pledges. Even parents can agree with that one. Hazing can positively influence the lives of those around us. Designated driving is the perfect example.
    Historical Education
    If hazing didn’t exist, there wouldn’t be any reason for pledges to learn the history of the Brotherhood, nor any of the brothers’ names. Pledgeship, accompanied by the art of hazing, pushes pledges into scholarly beings. That sounds sophisticated, now doesn’t it? Not only will they be able to recite a quality fraternity anthem (just as important as the National Anthem, if not more), they’ll learn how to tap a keg, bar-tend, taxi, and so much more. College education at its best.
    Boot Camp
    We don’t want our pledges looking like the actors from Heavyweights, now do we? A few calisthenics never hurt anybody. Besides, who wouldn’t want to have a six-pack, and lose a few pounds? Pledgeship toughens you up, and improves your looks, seriously. It’s a mini-ROTC. A little sweat can go a long way. Sack up… it’s really not that bad.
    So the next time someone asks you why we haze, you’ll have more than enough bullshit to pass around. Don’t let the common GDI or over-bearing parent rain on our parade. Hazing is a historic past-time, even greater than that of baseball. Protect it, preserve it, and preach it. God Bless all that is Greek life. Let’s never let a rushee enter the Brotherhood without paying his dues. It’s tradition, comedy, education, reality, unity, and most of all, fucking awesome.

    It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

  • #4205

    Ass Buster

    Had to figure out how to navigate this WordPress thing. Finally got it, but I’m not Turkeyleg anymore. Had to create a new account. I will be writing under Chinksweb.

  • #4206

    Ass Buster

    Well, I came across this in an old newspaper. It was written by Lewis Grizzard, a sports columnist and writer. He details a couple of interesting ways of hazing his frat did. He was in Sigma Pi at U of Georgia in 1964.

    The first one was Pledge Tennis. A couple of pledges went on all fours in the middle of the hazement. They were the net. Another pledge was the ball. He assumed the position at the serving line and was swatted hard on the butt by a brother with a paddle. He then had to run, jump the net, and assume the position for the other “player” to bag him back over the net! Back and forth he went until either he was too tired to jumped the “net” anymore or his ass was worn out and the color of round steak and often bleeding. The pledge trainer would declare “new ball” and he would assume the position as a member of the net, and that pledge would become the ball. Now, you may not think that’s so bad, except that getting your ass beat continually and running back and forth and jumping over pledge brothers on hands and knees gets pretty serious pretty quickly. The jumping got to be worse than the pain of the ass busting because after a while you sort of get numb. After 15 or 20 volleys that would be 30 or 40 licks and jumps done as fast as you could. Fun for the brothers. No fun for the pledges.

    Then other than extreme paddling at other times, which were frequent (pledges asses were sore during the entire three months of pledgship), the best one was their version of the elephant walk. The pledges would be made to strip naked and get on all fours in a circle, with about a yard in between them. Then a strip of tape was placed on the pledge’s nose and the other end at the top of the buttcrack pledge in front of them. This would be done after hours of Bs and Ts, wall sits, jumping jacks, pushups, and running place, so that they stank to high heaven. Pledges were never allowed to use deodorant. The pledge trainer would start music playing, and the pledges had to start crawling without letting the tape come loose either from their nose or the buttcrack of the next pledge. When the music stopped, abruptly, the pledges had to stop crawling. If a pledge’s tape came loose it was cut in half and replaced. Well, you can see that this is going to get kinky real quick. It ended up with the tape 3 inches long and that meant that the pledge’s face was buried in the buttcrack of the guy in front of him. Gay, you bet, but it’s not gay if you all do it. Or at least that’s what they say. So then the game continued until the brothers could get over laughing at the pledges’ efforts to avoid smelling the butt stink. Taking your face out of position would get you licks on your already sore ass.

    This next one happened to me and my pledge class. We were fed nothing but pork and beans for two days. Then on the 3rd morning, after not being allowed to take a shit, we were given a pint of Epsom Salts solution (magnesium sulfate) to chug just before going to class. I was in History of the Civil War when I got the urge and lept out of my seat and headed for the toilet. Halfway there I shit my pants. And it was the worst kind of shit. It was watery and solid at the same time, and it ran down my leg and onto the hallway floor. I kept going, praying there would be a stall open. Found one and finished the job. A ton of shit came out and goddam did it stink. Now here I was with shitty drawers and pants. I literally ran as fast as I could back to the dorm, trailing stink behind me, desperately hoping I did not encounter a member on the way. I was fortunate. But I won’t ever forget the Epsom Salts and Pork and Beans.

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