Vintage Hazing Stuff: Time and Temperature Service

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Time and Temperature Service

Vintage Hazing Stuff

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Pledges must climb a tree on campus and stay there from 1800 to midnight and shout out the time and temperature every minute for the whole six hours. Have the pledges make a large sign to put in front of the tree that says, “(Fraternity name) Time and Temperature Service.” (This would be an event repeated for every pledge class, but don’t let them use an old sign. Make them make a new one. If you don’t like it, tear it up and make them make another one. Do this as required). If there is a large pledge class this requires a large tree. Probably would not work in Tucson or Tempe! Variation for those places: Get a flatbed truck and cram them all on it. Dress them in clock costumes. Make them chew Red Man and don’t let them have anything to spit in, so they have to spit on each other. The variations are endless.

Weather has to be taken into account. Don’t let them become hypothermic or endangered in any way. If the weather is bad, call it when it’s time to call it, but make them think you’re not going to call it.

Sadly, if you did this today it would get you thrown off campus for hazing and you’d probably lose your affiliation as well. My granddad says it sure was fun when he did it. Of course there was booze involved as always. This hurts nobody and is fun (especially if it’s raining), but we can’t have this kind of fun today. He did this in 1954 in Texas.

Comments

Anonymous says:

If this is true, I’m conservative as Fuck!

Schlong says:

I have a modern day solution to the problem of the Administration scrutiny of pledge provided stationary time & temperature services. Remove it from the public eye by publishing the cell phone numbers of the pledges to Alumni brothers so they can call them at anytime day or night for more than just the local time and weather. Fuck Siri and ‘Okay Google’ … Gentlemen, I present Diial-A-Pledge.

Imagine this …

You’re sitting in a bar and need to know if a MLB player has ever hit an inside the park walk-off grand slam? You have the latest and greatest smart phone sitting on the bar next to the keys for your Mercedes and your single malt, but why search for the answer yourself and risk missing a play? Just Dial-a-Pledge and have a kid half your age look it up for you.

A few hours later …

It’s 3:30 in the morning, you just slid out some chick you picked up in the bar after she was left teary-eyed by the touching story of how your love of baseball grew from of a deep personal respect for the life of Roberto Clemente. She’s fallen asleep so you go to take a post-coital piss only to find his & hers monogramed towels in her bathroom. Now you urgently need to know if you should slip out while she’s sleeping or give her another ‘pearl necklace’ and crash until you go to meet your buddies for the Jets game. Dial-a-Pledge! Provide him with her name (you got her name … right), and put that little social media savant to work finding out why her husband isn’t there now and when he can be expected home.

The douche bags in the Ivory Towers, Politicians, & Media can bitch all they want but this is in no way hazing. Rather, this would be an educational service that prepares the pledges for their future Corporate jobs where some unknown prick, who is their superior, feels free to call at any hour, demanding answers to save them from problems they have created … or it’s your ass.

Come to think of it the Fraternity should probably get paid for this service. Something like a $10 dollar donation for general trivia or information and $100 for ejaculate or evacuate situations. The pledges get nothing for their extra effort of course … further education on what they can expect in the real world.

Death From Above says:

Great idea, Scumi!

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